I haven’t been on, let alone posted anything to, Tumblr in AGES.
But I feel right now is another changing point for me, whether it’s a major or just a minor thing, and needed to share it somehow. This past year has been a roller coaster and has probably been the longest years of my life. I value it so much though because I’ve never learned so much within such a compact period of time.
One of those things I’ve learned is how important it is to take care of yourself. I find it so easy to keep your own well being and mental/physical/spiritual health on the back burner. But I’ve finally felt the effects of that. As a result of having absolutely horrible eating habits, including drinking alcohol on a regular basis without eating anything beforehand, letting smoking be a bad habit, lack of sleep/dependence on caffeine, and don’t even get me started on the lack of exercise… My body gave up on the ineffective little cries for help and just decided to completely break down. Nothing incredibly serious or hospital worthy, but enough to tell me ‘hey, it’s time you need to change things.’ And, while I’ve been home this past weekend to deal with this horrible sickness I’ve developed, completely venting to my mom about what it’s been like living on my own/not being in school at 19 years old has opened my eyes up to a lot of truths about my lifestyle that I otherwise blinded myself to see.
The fact that a rule so simple as ‘be kind to your body’ made me begin to cry is plenty enough to show me that I’ve done the exact opposite. Our bodies are these beautiful, natural, earthly machines that were given to us to take of… It is the only possession we have on this physical earth that we can entirely call our own (as much as some people would like to think otherwise). The idea of me taking advantage of this body and treating it so terribly makes me downright upset. I guess the way I see it is, the lungs I have are my body’s lungs- they aren’t me necessarily. I am only this consciousness that dwells within this body. Therefore, how could I selfishly destroy these great machines that are here to help me just because I’m lazy or stressed? I just like to see things be able to operate at their utmost potential, and knowing that I’m what’s inhibiting that kills me (literally).
Now I’ve realized that nothing is worse than getting caught in the cycle of ignoring your own needs. Doing so absolutely does effect your happiness and all around day-to-day mindset. I’ve come to find that the reason I’ve been so unhappy with my life isn’t from outside sources, but from within. Neglecting you and your body’s needs will 100% effect every choice and action you take. If you’re stressed out, smoking a cigarette really does not actually help you… However eating right and exercising prevents the stress right from the get go. Everything is a cycle and it’s all connected… If a healthy lifestyle wasn’t the answer to all these issues, then it wouldn’t solve it all at the same time in the most sensible manner.
It’s unfortunate that it took all this destruction of my body to realize this, but I’m so grateful I have and cannot wait to set things straight again.